Minimal Regatta
The Schooner Wharf Minimal Regatta has become an undisputed Memorial Day Weekend tradition in the Florida Keys.
Contestants race homemade boats crafted from the barest of materials, with some floating impressively and others ending in hilariously soggy defeat. Alongside the minimally constructed vessels, the regatta showcases plucky mariners and their “sink or swim” spirit, delivering maximum fun for spectators.
So what exactly does the Minimal Regatta entail?
Before the event itself, each team of up to six members must construct its boat. And that’s not as easy as it might sound, since a team is allowed only a single sheet of 4-by-8-foot plywood, two 8-foot-long 2-by-4s, a roll of duct tape, and a pound of fasteners to use in the construction process. Even caulking and adhesives are forbidden, though epoxy paint is (mercifully) allowed.
Participants can compete in either the race’s kayak/canoe design or open design categories. Many entrants each year demonstrate only minimal construction skills, but some are unexpectedly talented in design and fabrication.
That’s lucky for the team’s “designated passenger,” whose task is to navigate a short course in the Key West Historic Seaport beside the Schooner Wharf. As hundreds of spectators cheer, these hapless mariners try to keep their craft afloat longer than their competitors — with varying degrees of success.
A few teams get “that sinking feeling” soon after launching, while other vessels seem surprisingly buoyant.
This year as in the past, regatta entrants will vie for prizes for the fastest entries, most creative designs, best paint jobs, best costumes and sportsmanship — as well as the dreaded “sinker” awards for the least seaworthy vessels.
While it may be dubbed the Minimal Regatta, there’s nothing minimal about the fun that awaits Memorial Day Weekend crowds watching the wacky spectacle.
